There have been several things in my life that made a life-long impact. My 2^nd grade teacher, for example, was completely in agreement with me that I was, in fact, probably the most astonishing person to ever darken the door of Addison Elementary School (I love you Mrs. Mize). Also, I’m not going to slight Mrs. Richter, who blew my mind when she taught me how to play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on the recorder. OK, that one was made up, everyone who watched “Full House” and saw Stephanie Tanner get her gum stuck in her recorder knows how to play that jam. But aside from influential faculty from my childhood, there have been many indirect influences in my life that I’d like to mention, and subsequently point out “Where in the WORLD did THAT go?!”.

Mad About You

Thank you Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser, for taking an accurate snap shot of not only what marriage is actually like, but also what living conditions in Manhattan are like. Even their sparse apartment was a little overboard, but it beat the heck out of the GIGANTIC apartment Monica, a chef, and Rachel, a coffee shop waitress, were pawning off as realistic living quarters on Friends. I’d venture to guess I saw just about every episode of this sarcastic, odd couple’s life in the big city. It was this show that kept me from SPRINTING to NYC after a marathon of Sex And the City in the Phi Mu house one night during finals week in college. This TV show taught me balance. Taught me how to set realistic goals. Taught me that when someone names their boarder collie “Murray” and they aren’t really sure why, that they are suppressing the fact that they too have been changed by this incredible sitcom. Bring it back NBC. And while you’re at it, bringing phenomenal shows back that you haven’t yet been able to top, why don’t you go ahead and bring “Wings” back too. I’ve really had it up to here with “Cheers” getting all the accolades.

Christy Carlson-Romano

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Wasn’t the girl that played the overbearing, older sister on “Even Stevens” Anne Hathaway? Well I’m here to tell you that it WASN’T! Disney Channel has done it again, brainwashing us with a dead ringer look-alike, making us forget our tried-and-true favorites from yesteryear. I don’t know if it was “Cadet Kelly” the DCOM movie that did this poor chick in, or the fact that her name was borderline the length of the entire dictionary, or the fact that I swear she had braces for a good 4 years that was the nail in the Disney career coffin. I blame her bra-burning, feminist mother who apparently INSISTED on her using her FULL name at all times as to the culprit for tanking her career. Why else would a clown like Shia LaBeouf make it big and get to make out with Megan Fox in all 47 Transformers movies, and CCR (I’ll get carpal tunnel if I type her name too much) was replaced by a less lanky, less gapped toothed Anne Hathaway for Disney’s “it” girl. You know what this taught me? That I’m PUSHIN’ my luck with “Ainsley Cartwright”, and any name change will have to be at minimum a reduction in letters. Or just like good ole CCR, I’ll be toast.

Pop Up Video

Remember when VH1 used to bring the FURY when it came to music television? Pop Up Video took the cake as far as music programming goes. Sure, every video they showed was at least 4-10 years old, and the facts were always the same for every video, but how else am I supposed to sit through an entire music video of “Walkin’ on Broken Glass”. I’ll tell you how, with pop-up factoids to interest my little nerd brain, that’s how. This TV show skyrocketed my "trivia team member” status. Sure, I’m always good for the science and math questions. Great. Dime a dozen in the Georgia Tech crowd. But this little gem of a show made me the wild card music trivia team member. If you don’t think I know every obscure fact there is to know about Spin Doctors “Two Princes” music video due entirely to this program, you’ve got another think coming. Please bring this back, VH1. And also, if y’all put another dating show on air that features a washed up musician who thinks it’s COMPLETELY appropriate to change people’s names to “New York” and “Dayum Gurrrrllll”, I will hunt you down, and I will kill you. I will kill you with an over exposure to 1980’s music trivia.

Penguin Movies

Alright. I’ll admit, there was a time, maybe it was 3 years ago or so, where the entire entertainment industry was huffing the “penguins are where the money’s at” glue. We had “Happy Feet” and “Surf’s Up” and “The Pebble and the Penguin” to just name a few. But if you are going to sit there and lie to me and tell me that you didn’t go through an actual rainbow of emotions during the movie “March of the Penguins”, then I will tell you sir that you are dead inside. I say sir, because there’s not a woman on this planet with Estrogen pumping through her veins that didn’t leap out of her chair with joy when the momma penguin successfully passed off the egg to her husband. That didn’t say “typical” when the husband unsuccessfully received the egg and the baby froze to death. That didn’t cry hysterically when the momma penguin didn’t return from her feeding with food for the baby because some stupid sea lion ate her. That didn’t laugh and rewind it when the penguin slipped and fell and honked about it during the march. And didn’t get really somber and quite when that extra slow penguin lost the group, and it was “reading between the lines” to assume he died (and you secretly consoled yourself by saying “I bet he still made it!”). So yes, I understand the break in the penguin themed shows, for more robust features like the Oprah narrated “Life”. But I think we’re all ready for the walking birds to waddle back into our lives again. And also, I think we’re all ready to punch a baby sea lion in the face at the aquarium. A little taste of your own medicine, you horrid creature. Also, when is Morgan Freeman going to stop being in denial of the fact that all he should ever do for the rest of his life is narrate and play “God” in movies. It’s annoying to say the least that he thinks he brings more to the table.