I’m the kind of person that isn’t afraid to ask questions. There’s really no way to learn and understand something unless you find out “Why?” and “How?” to as many things as you can. Which is why I feel like I should post the top questions on my mind these days. Maybe someone else knows the answer. Maybe others are wondering the exact same thing. Maybe you SHOULD be asking this question too.

Question 1 has to do with the famous children’s show “Dora the Explorer”. From what little I’ve seen of this show I’ve gleaned that the premise is a young girl, Dora, who goes gallivanting through what I can only assume is a forest similar to the Amazon with her friend Diego. They go on adventures, and along the way, the yell out random words in Spanish so as to teach children at a young age how to be those ignorant Americans who say “HOLA AMIGO! WHERE IS THE BANO?” Great. So my question is this; while this presumably under 5 year old child is running amuck with her pal, EXACTLY WHERE ARE HER PARENTS?! Far be it from my mom to even let me meander away from the street I grew up on when I was playing, and this little toddler gets to run wild in a jungle? No wonder she’s screaming out words in Spanish, it’s probably her coping mechanism for the feelings of abandonment she’s going through. Poor little latch-key kid. It’s not a TV show, it’s a travesty.

Question 2 has to do with the conspiracy that is Stevie Wonder. Now, do not get me wrong, I love me some Stevie, but I’m 100% convinced that he was faking it. And you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about: That guy wasn’t blind for one red-hot second. Every year around this time I remember this fact because I hear that song that he sings “That’s What Christmas Means to Me My Love”. There’s a part where he sings “Lots and lots of mistletoe”. Seemingly normal except he says “Lots and lots of mist-tle-toe”. He almost OVERLY pronounces the silent “t”. Now I ask you this “WHY IS A BLIND MAN PHONETICALLY READING LYRICS?”. How did he even know the “t” was there? He wasn’t reading Braille when he was singing it, because he was playing the piano too. I can’t for the life of me understand how he wasn’t busted after this. If I could talk to him I’d tell him “you don’t need the blind gimmick. I would have bought your CD anyways”.

Question 3 involves something that we all participate in: Facebook. I honestly have multiple questions about facebook, so I’ll rapid fire them: 1) Why do people make status updates every hour? Stop clogging my News Feed and get yourself a Twitter account. 2)Why do people who are merely dating have a picture of them and their significant other as their profile picture, and the same picture is used for both accounts? Are you really fusing your lives together to this extent after 4 months of dating? Maybe slow down crazy. Slow down. 3)Why are heterosexual girls in relationships with other girls because they are friends? Is it awkward when y’all have to “break up” on facebook because one gets married? That little broken heart shows up on the news feed, telling everyone that y’all both regret making that your status when you were freshmen and didn’t know how to break it to the other person.

                 ( I don’t even know who this couple is, but I know they need to settle down)

Question 4 involves the reverse racism that is going on by just about everyone on the planet towards blonde girls. I’m not talking about the stereotype that “blondes are dumb”. That’s pretty accurate for the most part. I’m talking about exactly why can’t people tell blondes apart? What, we all look alike? Just about every time I’m with a blonde friend of mine people ask if we’re sisters. As if the genetic mutation of having blonde hair has forced two sisters to cling to each other in friendship and support. No, I do not look like any of my friends. No, I do not look anything like Carrie Underwood or Jenny McCarthy or Chelsea Handler. I’m going to ask Black Eyed Peas to write a song about the trails and tribulations we go through being lumped into one person. Here’s some pictures of my friends that, when I hang out with them, I am asked if we’re sisters.

Here’s Allison, not my sister. I put her first here because we get this the most, to the point where a guy that she used to date got us confused. Get a grip, guy. She’s 5’9 and I’m 5’4. Also, our faces have just about zero of the same features, different color eyes… the list goes on.

Here’s Jordan. The discrepancy between our looks couldn’t be more blatantly obvious. Yet we get asked regularly if we’re sisters. Again, she’s 5’10.

Here’s Erin. When coupled with Jordan and Allison above, the assumption is that we’re quadruplets. Yes, quadruplets. Because that happens every day, 4 blonde sisters waltzing into your life. Grow up, and maybe stop watching so much porn if you think that’s a realistic scenario. Also, in reference to this picture, maybe next time I spray tan, I go "light" instead of "medium".