I work with an Italian
that has lived here in America for about a year and a half, and I have made it
my personal mission to teach him all things USA so that he feels like he’s one
of us. Needless to say, watching Bob Ross paint a landscape is a requisite. In
rewatching an episode I realized something. Bob Ross has taught me every
valuable life lesson I'll ever need. Through the language of paint and love. And hair. Side note, if you don't know who Bob Ross is, ask your mom for permission to go on youtube (because you better be under the age of 12) and look him up.
You Should Trust
People
Well obviously not
everyone (Ted Bundy yourself) but in general, this is true. You know how he
taught me this? Because he would have a painting that I would, in my infinite 5
year old wisdom, deem finished. And then, like a bat out of hell he’d streak
across the whole canvas a crooked, pitch-black line. Right down the middle. I
would literally say out loud “WHY!!?!? IT’S RUINED!”.
(Oh yes Bob, let's put gigantic white blobs in the pond. That's a GREAT IDEA!!!)
And it was like he heard
me because he’d be like “We don’t make mistakes, we make happy accidents”.
Alright, you paintbrush wielding Yoda, prove it. And he would. EVERY TIME!
Boom, that's the finished product WHHHHAAAATTTT.T.T.T.T.!?
Everyone Deserves To
Be Happy
I mean, I refuse to
believe he has ever painted a tree that was in the doldrums. Even every leaf
was a happy little leaf.
Not just that, they had BACK STORIES! “Maybe this
tree, when he was a baby, got trampled on by a great big moose and this branch
is a little crooked. He’s not sad about it though, because that moose helped
make him who he is today. You don’t have to be perfect, the crooked lines are
what makes us who we are”. Was I a little self conscious that a tree was more
self aware and confident than I will ever be? Absolutely. Am I uncomfortable
that one of my current role models is apparently a leaf that is happy when he
falls off and dies because something beautiful will come from him? Clearly. Bob
set the standard a bit high.
You Do You
Bob Ross will never be
accused of trying to be anyone but Bob Ross. His hair defied the laws of
physics, fashion and might have even been illegal in certain states (not Texas,
obviously – Higher the hair the closer to God).
I like to think that he donated
his body to science when he died to research how his hair did that. Maybe we
can harness the magic and make a hover craft, which in my opinion is about a
decade overdue. Hashtag George Jetson. I’m also jumping to the conclusion that
Bob died and am too lazy to google it so if he didn’t – whoops.
Sometimes Colors are
Bullshit
Whatever portion of
this lesson I didn’t already learn from Crayola (Damn you burnt sienna for
looking like you’re brown and being straight up orange) Bob solidified with the
paint names he used.
(These trees are "purple".)
“Oh we’re going to use Caspian Sea blue for the leaves” –
and I’m like “Bob you’re high on paint fumes, trees aren’t blue, this isn’t the
movie Avitar”. And lo and behold, Caspian Sea Blue is secretly tree leaf green.
What. WHAT?! How many ponds did he make that mistake with before he realized
it? Probably as many times as I drew orange horses with a burnt sienna crayon.
Also, yes I see the glaring plot hole in me being 5 and having referenced
Avitar. I stand by it.
(Brunt Sienna my ass, I don't even know what a sienna is, but i do know that if you burn it it gets real deceptive)
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